When your gaydar fails

So I went out with my new sassy gay friend tonight at Urban Mo's (I randomly met him at this same bar a couple weeks back) which is in Hillcrest- a gay friendly neighborhood. I was excited because it has been a busy past couple of months on the new job and a new town. I had so much fun dancing and being silly with my new friend in San Diego when BAM he told me he wasn't gay (*cringe*)! At first I thought it was a joke but he was pretty serious. I was speechless. So why the hell would you invite me to hang out in a gay bar? Why? All signs indicated that he was gay! I have been around tons and I mean TONS of gay guys before and have a pretty good gaydar.

Ugh, I thought the weirdness would stop after I left LA. Yes, I felt pretty disturbed and a little violated (gay bars are my awesome mini getaways from the straight world). But there is one good thing that came out of it. It made me realize that straight women are more themselves with other women or with gay men. There totally is a different dynamic happening between heterosexuals. Maybe I speak for myself but it's like the mere fact that we acknowledge the difference in gender makes communication instantly complicated. I definitely had my guard up after that revelation. I guess I can become a little more uptight around men (uhm, come think of it who wouldn't be when it comes to meeting men in bars)! Now I know it's only in the head. Moral lesson: always be yourself and always make sure you get a second opinion when you gaydar fails!